Maybe this is the last time making friends will feel this easy.

This phase of life might be the last time making friends feels this easy.

Hello my loves!

Welcome to my substack - essentially, a weekly email of me waffling because who doesn’t need more clutter in their inbox, eh?!

Every Tuesday, I hope to start your week with a cheeky Deep Meaningful Chat (DMC).

My friends (especially you, Sasheena) have relentlessly encouraged me to start a substack. And as I continue to train for the NCTJ journalism diploma, I am accepting perhaps I do have a knack for writing.

If the career Gods decide to be good to me, I hope to soon be writing for a big fancy media outlet which leaves little room to say whatever I want. So, here we are! I’ll be putting my writing skills to eloquently chat rubbish here instead.

Topics to spark the DMC will be extracted from whatever my brain is thinking of on the day and, quite frankly, be as unpredictable as possible.

I do hope they’ll be relatable in some way, shape, or form to my millions of readers.

Today’s DMC: Maybe this is the last time making friends will feel this easy. 😳

“Pub after class, anyone?”

And just like that, we were at the manky Spoons to swap gossip and stories from our lives.

Approximately two months ago, I began my NCTJ at News Associates in London. It’s about 40 of us in a classroom and as it usually goes, friendships are beginning to form over the shared stress and the stifled giggles.

The thought that’s been quietly haunting me lately is… what if this is the last time it’s ever going to feel this easy?

Hopefully not. Yet, a part of me can’t help but feel fortunate to have this last grasp at a second space where your ability to function almost depends on maintaining a social network. There is an active effort to befriend each other.

I fear for when my second place becomes the workplace. Naturally, performing well at work will take priority and colleagues may (understandably) be wary of crossing beyond surface-level boundaries.

That’s why I feel lucky to be experiencing this interim - post-graduation, pre-career - where I’m once again surrounded by like-minded peers every weekday.

We’re relatively care-free and it feels as though structure and spontaneity still co-exist, just like school and university.

Frankly, it’s impressive how, time and time again, the classroom manages to invite a warmth towards one another.

Nearly a year on from graduating university, I still heavily mourn how easy it was to experience life with friends.

In fact, this is often a conversation topic between my university friends and I - the grief of our proximity and availabilities for each other.

With Warwick being a campus university and Leamington Spa (the town that has to deal with us after we’re kicked out from first-year halls) being a town smaller than my London borough, socialising has never been easier. At the absolute most, you were a 30 minute walk away from a friend.

Since then, I have moved back home to a town just outside the M25* and soon began working six days a week in hospitality before starting the NCTJ. In between juggling the long hours, family, and other responsibilities, I quickly realised how logistical socialising became.

Spontaneity has since been replaced by planning - meet-ups now need to be weighed up against factors like money, travel time, and whether it clashes with other responsibilities.

We really did have it better ‘back in the day’ within our student bubble. Or, at least that’s what I think.

Maybe I’ll prove myself wrong but right now, this moment feels like something worth noticing.

So, I’ll enjoy it for now - even if it means one too many visits to manky Spoons and inside jokes that don’t make sense outside the classroom.

* I want to take this opportunity to clarify I am a born-and-bred Londoner and moved out to said (wonderful) town only recently in my life. I have an annoying need to let everyone how much of a proud Londoner I am.

Fancy reading more?📖

The challenge of making friends in your adulthood is a repeated discourse:

• This piece includes various anecdotes from adults who long for their 20s where “proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other” is the norm. Interestingly, however, the piece remarks how as the older we become, the more effort we pour to maintain the friendships we do already have - but I’ll leave that for another DMC.

• This author moves to a new city, downloads Bumble only to discover friend-making is increasingly difficult when people are already “enmeshed in their own lives”.

This week’s tune 🎶

Here’s what I listened to while writing our DMC:

Thank you for making it this far, especially for the first edition. You’re the OGs! Remember, feedback and / or comments are always welcome - this is a conversation, after all 🗣️.

Until next time,

Dunya